Apakah Anda seorang suami yang merasa mulai bosan dengan istri Anda? Atau mungkin Anda seorang istri yang merasa sudah bosan dengan suami Anda?
Ladies, in your marriage, always choose boredom over excitement.
I’ve been married for sixteen years alhamdulillah, and my marriage is “boring.”
And I love it!
A “boring” marriage with a “predictable” man is really actually a solid, stable, secure relationship with a reliable, steady man with whom you are fully comfortable and relaxed.
Some wives are blessed enough to have this, but they find it “boring” or “meh.”
Why?
Because they’re fantasizing about the thrill of the chase, the excitement of novelty, the adventure of the unknown and unfamiliar. They crave the butterflies in the stomach, the blush that comes over the face, the sparkle of speculation in the eyes. They want the “spark” with a mystery man they just met, not the husband they’ve known for nine years.
Some people even destroy their marriage because they’re “not in love” anymore.
But these are just dreams of infatuation, romance, lust.
Not love.
Real love isn’t crazy. It isn’t unstable or hectic or messy. It isn’t confusing or heady. It isn’t really very “exciting” because there’s no drama.
Real love is comfortable, calm, peaceful. Serene and tranquil. Like in the word َسَكَن , “sakana,” “to be still, without movement.” The very same word Allah Himself uses in the Quran to describe marriage:
وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًۭا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ وَرَحْمَةً
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy…” (Surat Ar-Rum, 21)
The first description of a spouse is in the word تسكنوا, “to find tranquility/ serenity/ peace/ stillness.” Then, after that, Allah also uses the words “affection” and “mercy.”
Real love is serene, affectionate, merciful.
It deepens over time, maturing into a beautiful blossom when the initial rush of the honeymoon fades. It settles into a cozy routine of daily life, day in and day out, predictable and dependable. It grounds us. It allows us to be fully ourselves.
But, because we are human and humans are often impatient, we grow bored with this, tired of what begins to feel like monotony. We begin to grow restless, dissatisfied, discontented.
خُلِقَ الْإِنسَانُ مِنْ عَجَلٍ
“The human being was created from haste/ impatience…” (Surat Al-Anbiya’, 37)
وكان الإنسان عجولا
“And the human being is ever hasty.” (Surat Al-Isra’, 11)
We lack patience. We don’t have perseverance.
We see the grass as always greener on the other side.
But…the grass is greener where you water it.
So, devote your pent-up energy to your marriage. Pay closer attention to your husband. See him as though for the first time. Recreate the romance. Try to change things up a bit at home to spice up your relationship with your husband.
Never give up on your healthy marriage to a good man.
Persevere.
InshaAllah you will love the results!